3 things thursday [71]

1.  I am so incredibly in love with the beginning of the novel that I wrote on Tuesday for Camp NaNoWriMo.  It’s so good, you guys.  I keep reading it over and over again, like a little narcissist, marveling at my own amazingness.

Basically my story centers around a stuffed lion and a girl.  I have a beginning and I have an ending, but other than that, I’m just going to see where the story takes me.  I don’t have an outline, I just write.  Mostly while drinking beer and listening to the Mumford and Sons Pandora station.

2.  A picture I snagged from Kelly, aka post marathon awesomeness:

Chili’s never ever lets you down, friends.

3.  WARNING:  this is the gloomy thing of Three Things Thursday.

You know what I wish college had prepared me for?  Hard stuff.  Such as, losing a parent.  It’s been pretty damn difficult over these last few months, to watch my mom go from the tough, sassy, happy-go-lucky, always singing and being that embarrassing mom you wish would go away lady to what she is now – dying.  What do you say to her?  How do you act?  Do you talk about your marathon from last week, knowing that it might be the last time you get to give her a race report, or do you talk about trivial things like the weather, so that she will just let go and not feel bad about missing everything?

My mom always used to tell me that people constantly go through cycles, and that every time you go through something, you find out who your real friends are.  She couldn’t have been more right.  There are several people who don’t really even talk to me anymore, since they found out about my mom, and it really fucking sucks.  (Hah and if you immediately text or tweet me now, I’ll know you know I called you out on your bullshit).

Mom also used to say that you never know what someone is thinking or how someone is doing until you ask them.  So there’s that.  It’s always nice to be asked.

So yes, if you have any good vibes to spare, please send them the Smith way.  We appreciate it more than we can ever say.  Thanks, friends.

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23 thoughts on “3 things thursday [71]

  1. I'm really sorry to hear about your mom.

    You are right about being asked. One of my friends told me after her dad died that no one just came out and asked her what happened – everyone walked on eggshells. (I wasn't the best about it either) All she wanted was for someone to ask her that so she could talk about it. So I'll ask – whats happening with your mom?

    Lots of good vibes being sent your way. I'm sorry you have to go through this.


  2. We actually had to take a “Death & Dying” class in high school (is that normal? Or just my weird school?), and believe me, it does nothing to prepare you for stuff like this.

    That does really suck :( I think people just don't know how to ask, or it makes them uncomfortable (as thinking about mortality is bound to do). I experienced the same thing when Bob was really sick – suddenly I stopped hearing from certain friends, or they'd completely ignore it. Which is hard, since it's such a huge thing that's going on. And like Rachel said, you do just want someone to bring it up and ask how things are going. Sending tons of good vibes your way, and I'm always around to talk if you need to. Or drink beer and eat BBQ with, whatever.

    On a less serious note – is your novel the female/lion version of Calvin & Hobbes? :)


  3. I wonder, even after we go through hard times like this… if we will ever be prepared for them. We lost Steven's mom (suddenly, not like what you are going through) and it still leaves me in shock.

    I am so sorry that people have cut you off because of this. Yeah, it tells you who your real friends are, but that just makes you feel worse, in the moment! If you ever want to talk, I am around!

    Thinking of you and your fam!

    Your novel sounds fun! :)


  4. You are very right about knowing who your true friends are in your situation- it is VERY true. I found it pretty comforting actually because it weeded out the non-real friends.

    It's really tough but try to enjoy every moment with your Mom, even if they are hard they are real. I'm sure being sick she wants to hear every single detail of your life and be there for you. I know it's not easy, but you will get through it and be ok.

    Also, having been through it- I'm good at listening and would be up for a vent over a beer anytime. :)


  5. So sorry to hear about your mom.

    Death is really difficult to deal with. I have not lost a parent but have lost a lot of other family members… and it started when I was very young. It gets harder the older you get and nothing can prepare you for it. Whether it is sudden or from a known illness. It really is difficult.

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


  6. Sending good vibes your way.

    I think sometimes when serious things are happening its nice to talk about everyday things and to just be a part of the world. Then,other times you might need to talk about the serious things.


  7. My mom has end-stage liver cancer and is currently in hospice. She's not at home any longer, she's in a hospice facility. Which sucks, because she wants to be home, but is easier on my dad, because he can get a little bit of a break.

    Thank you so much for asking :)


  8. A death class? For real? Crazy Catholics.

    Yes to the stop hearing from certain people, and the ignoring it, and then they don't ask you to go out anymore, because they think that's all you'll talk about and they don't want to hear it. Which sucks all around.

    I've actually never read Calvin & Hobbes, so I don't have a reference point :/


  9. I totally get what you're saying – sometimes the cancer lingo gets really old, and all you want to do is complain about the weather or talk about baseball or SOMETHING ELSE, lol.


  10. We've never met, but I'm a runner living in Chicago. I went through this with my dad when I was 27. I'm 31 now. He too was not at home, but in the hospital when he was dying from a rare cancer at age 59. I could write alot about this. If you want to chat let me know.


  11. It included a field trip to a funeral home. For reals.

    You haven't read Calvin & Hobbes? Well, essentially it's about a boy and his cynical stuffed tiger. You'd probably like it.


  12. Oh man, this is a lot to bear. Sorry you are going through all this.

    When friends are going through really hard times, I feel like I never know what to say. And in the past I've let that get in the way and end up just not talking to that person. I read an line one time that said “Saying the wrong thing is still better than saying nothing” so I try to remind myself of that when I don't know what to say.

    Thinking of you are your family!


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